And also sorry that you have no talent. Weren't roller rinks outlawed in, like, 1981 for being totally lame? Attack me with your exfoliating loofah? It fit. Rachel: You had no right. The death of celebrities usually does not impact me, but this one really has. I might be related to Penelope. Right after Mercedes sings the first lines of Rumor Has It, the theatre goes dark and the beat drops out. Santana's entire monologue as she forms a dastardly scheme to get back Brittany. Santana: In theory. I think I need an agent. Her ability to speak truth to power and call teachers (adults!) Do you know where she keeps it? Are you crying? I loved seeing Santana succeed. Santana: You should be our nations president. Did you know she tried to sell me once? After her intense internal struggle, the softness and confidence in her face when she says she knows its right. But I won't join without you. Im forever grateful that Glee didnt sidestep that. Its so fucking ridiculous. Santana: And just so you know, I bought custom bibs for me and Mercedes cause weez be going Mercedes and Santana: To Breadstix! That Santana contained multitudes, and that not all of those multitudes were nice, changed everything about what positive representation really meant on TV. Santana, Quinn and Brittany, The Purple Piano Project. Santana: I don't really talk during. She is a hero, and deserves to be remembered as such. When you look back you see that those pursuits were always part of a game, a trick, a strategy, a story, a status grab. She never shrank back in the face of adversity or bullying or toxic masculinity or misused authority. I Beg! As the camera cuts in tight. While as amazing she was at delivering the zingers, she was equally as talented at delivering the tender soft spoken line that would often lead to tears. Is a drug dealer! Santanas entire story arc mirrored mine in so many ways. The small breath-hold moment of hope, and her heart shattering before our very eyes. You've been berating us for the better part of an hour. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together or farted. As we did, of course, we shared with each other over and over how her portrayal of Santana Lopez also changed our worlds. Maybe that has something to do with it. Ive listened to it about a gazillion times over the last many years, and it always gets me in my guts, but I forget what a punch it really is to my hearts face to watch the scene. The only reason why the New Directions beat the Troubletones at Sectionals is because that pervy clown judge was freaking high as a kite. How incredibly lucky I was to grow up with this story. You're gonna be okay. When I hear it now of course I only hear Naya, but I also remember my silver bridesmaid dress with the sweetheart neckline and my rust orange fall flowers bouquet. You? Santana: I've kissed Finn, and can I just say not worth a buck. Hi DM! Rachel: Brody is in the shower. Santana: I hate weddings and I Valentine's Day. I felt all of this so deeply. There was a famous fanfiction well known for Brittana fans called Influence. You can't break up the Unholy Trinity. Santana: But I wanted to thank you for singing that song with me in Glee Club. Whatever. But Glee encouraged me to let me freak flag fly, and so I did. Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, 'You know what, I don't wanna marry a sexless self-centered baton-twirler. I think its safe to say at this point that we all know Whitney Houston had at least one relationship with a woman but was made to suppress and obscure her sexuality, maybe even to herself, by an unforgivably racist and homophobic industry. Its just so fucking manic, this show. I'm looking forward to the day my grandmother loves me again. It's okay. You are not playing Yente the lesbian match maker. Santana about Rachel and Kurt, Girls (and Boys) on Film. So many amazing moments. Santana: Oh, I know! See, The Troubletones are three F's, Fierce, Femme, Phenomenal! Theres a brief moment after Kurt is elected prom queen as a cruel joke that Santana rushes out of the room crying. Quinn: Flawless. I'm trying to apologize to Lumps The Clown. I was thinking the same thing and I think youre right. Panic! [voiceover] I've always loved volunteering at the local hospital, and not just because of the sexy candy striper outfit. out was so validating. Santana: The man who lives next door finally killed off his elderly mother and when the police came they left the whole place like wide open. (Quinn slams Santana . Santana to Gunther, Tina in the Sky with Diamonds. When it comes on you scream and you jump and you dance like a kid to this timeless and utterly perfect pop song. Santana was my favorite long before the jokes about her and Brittany sleeping together turned into the best friends in love storyline of my dreams. I mean my girlfriend girlfriend. How does that sound? And High Art, Kiss Me, When, I also watched Les Filles du Botaniste a few times. The entire rest of the verse Naya Rivera performs as a monologue in song. I think somebody needs to freeze the fat this Christmas, because somebody weighs more than Mrs. Claus!. Santana to Will, Blame It on the Alcohol. And thats a true story, too. Im just too tired. You better believe theyll regret it. Also, honestly, Santana would still be getting royalties off that thing. On Shameless, when Fiona told Monica about how she has raised all of her siblings. I meant, it's a Win-Win for me. I cant get her If I Die Young out of my head lately. Perhaps youve read them, even. You do play for another team.. you were on the Cheerios now you're only in the New Directions Kurt: She can't find out until after her Funny Girl audition, alright? Watch 10 of Naya Rivera's best performances as Santana Lopez on Fox's 'Glee.' . With who's vagina? She was mean sometimes, maybe even a lot of times, and she understood later that, yes, it was coming from a place of fear and insecurity because she was closeted. Santana. Maybe I need Santana: Okay, that's really funny. I accept that about you. I did. I was the exact same age as Santana when Glee was airing and going through the most difficult part of my coming out process. This is the first time were experiencing this. Santana: Thanks. Can that possibly be true? Despite the fact that your mouth-to-face ratio is way off, you still somehow manage to be cute. When Santana and Brittany take her song and flip the pronouns and wear the slinky tube dresses and wrap their curled hair in big bows and it rains glitter and are surrounded by cheerleaders, one of whom has a very alternative lifestyle haircut, and they want to dance with each other? Let me break it down for you, from one bitch to another. Rachel, Tina and Santana, Special Education. Brittany: I failed my precious unicorn. You look a little Jewish, right Rachel? We had Glee watching parties in my dorm, and I would stay up late replaying Brittana scenes from YouTube hoping my roommate wouldnt notice. I'm like a lizard. She's dating Jesse. We both know blondes are born with magical power, like doing the splits or turning swedish. I will never be able to listen to Glee songs again without thinking of you and feeling heartache. Brittany: Wait, isn't this a date? If I did, would you join me? I'm definitely going to watch compilations of her snark and monologues on YouTube. And I need to tell you something that I dont know how to say. And it wasn't until I got to kindergarten that I learned my name wasn't Garbage Face. You can't make fun of Finn anymore. She didnt have the space to be a victim like Rachel. Tons, just all up in there. I'm from Lima Heights, I was raised on insults. I didnt end up going because fuck that guy and I knew my own life and what was important to me. Finn: What are you talking ab- Play over 265 million tracks for free on SoundCloud. We made that for us! I won't tell Lauren to look out for poachers who might might mistake her for the endangered white rhino. (slaps Quinn across face) Quinn: You can't hit me! Santana: Okay, New York may be disgusting, especially when it's covered in gray, nasty snow, and the people may be horrible and rude, and some smelly homeless man in pee stained tighty whities might have groped me on the subway and then asked me for a dollar. Look, I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top yet, either. Sam I am. When listening to it and watching the scene I dont even realize that Naya has such a small part because her presence is the strongest there. Does he get so turned on by teen moms who barely visit their kid? When Santana finally confesses her feelings to Brittany, right there in front of their lockers, and Brittany chooses Artie over her and Santana, her heart in her hands, where its never been before, exclaims, Hes just a stupid boy! I felt that. Unmatched sass and the best . WhyWhy am I even taking advice from you, okay. Santana was my favorite long before the jokes about her and Brittany sleeping together turned into the best friends in love storyline of my dreams. Barely legal. I have razor blades hidden in my hair. Ive often described that while watching this scene I wept, which is true. I'm sick of being backup to Rachel Berry. If you're still obsessing over what you're gonna sing at your Funny Girl callback, may I suggest your best jam ever, Run Joey Run? Mr. Santana: Because you're a crazy evil bitch! Santana's history on the show begins with her being one prong of the infamous "Unholy Trinity." A desperate Quinn Fabray ( Dianna Agron) employs the help of two of her fellow Cheerios to audition. I haven't danced that hard since nationals two years ago. Youve got a crush on my girl, Brittany. Just with bigger stakes. Brittany: C'mon, we can't be mad at Rachel forever. Maybe two seasons, if that. Brittany: There was a mouse in mine. I can sense it thanks to my psychic Mexican third eye. I mean what was your big move then, a jumbotron that said, "Hey Terri! Grouper mouth, froggy lips. I love you. Like a sad little panda. You are not my principal. Maybe Blaine didn't wanna be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile, or someone who doesn't dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick's more elaborate wet dreams. aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex You tell Marley she's fat, even though your face looks like a soccer ball. Yay. was probably my favorite moment. The Autostraddle TV Team is made up of Riese Bernard, Carmen Phillips, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, Valerie Anne, Natalie, Drew Burnett Gregory, Shelli Nicole, Nic, A. Tony Jerome, and Heather Hogan. rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips, so you know what, maybe Santana slaps Finn, Santana, Finn, Rachel and Will, Mash Off, When I get really pissed off, Santana gets taken over by my other evil personality. I got to kindergarten that I learned my name was n't Garbage face me to let break... Jicama or get a flat top yet, either on you scream and jump! 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