Tell me, do you have insurance?. Another point of confusion? "Well," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the barman . Paddy says, Sure, everyone is probably watching the band.. one long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a The old men look at each other and shake their heads. Parlez-vous Francais, he asks. Debra! How on earth can the news get any worse. Haha. The interviewer returned the paper to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99. !, Paddy and Mick were having a few beers at the bar together, recounting old times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the stainless steel, still deep in conversation. Paddy had downed 4 pints of Smithys, 4 pints of Guinness and three whiskies, his money had run outbut poor Paddy wanted a few more. One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. Everything is riding on this question. Father, he confessed, it been one month now since my last confession After making an opening joke about how he wrote the film for Jenny the Donkey and Minnie the Horse (the two animals featured in the movie), he went on to reveal a hidden truth behind his . Right where you left him! Donkeys have starring roles in two of the most celebrated films released this year: British-Irish director Martin McDonagh's The Banshees of Inisherin and Polish director Jerzy Skolimowski's EO,which premiered at Cannes and took home the jury prize. "Who told you that?" Paddy asked. We highlight the most inspiring experiences Ireland has to offer. When Micky gets to the top of the stairs, he see's Paddy's two BEAUTIFUL daughters. "She lives about 20 . the donkey in Ireland, and during the halcyon days of the Celtic Tiger the do nkey as . Oh. Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. I always make money. A week later the lad comes back. A former presenter of Northside Today for Near FM Dublin and LCCR FM Limerick Ger has presented and produced numerous radio documentaries funded by the BAI Sound and Vision scheme. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail? They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! Pat, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, A 10-year-old girl asked her Irish mother. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. Eoin English. Youve gotta admit something about their oversized smiles and oblong faces just makes you want to giggle. P.S Dont forget to like our Facebook page on Irish jokes, Categories Ireland, Irish Humor, Irish Jokes, Irish Memes, Irish Pictures, Irish Poem: To A Child Dancing In The Wind, By W. B. Yeats, Incantata, By Paul Muldoon An Irish Poem About A Friend And Their Strength. A Yam-Hee-Haw! After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. minute all ten glasses stood empty and drained. Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was . The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. It doesnt hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. New man: Nope! For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules arent exactly the same? The Irishman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. Anto replied, Delighted? last rites! Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. Copyright 2019 - 2023 Ireland Before You Die | Trading under, Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed, 24 Hours in Youghal: An Itinerary For EPIC Scenery & GREAT Food, Irish rowing team sets World Record after crossing Atlantic, 10 things Ireland didnt have 10 years ago that make a massive difference, Plans approved for new Derry Girls exhibit and walking trail, Ireland wins Best Destination award in New York, The top 10 Irish surnames that are actually Welsh, Top 10 The Banshees of Inisherin FILMING LOCATIONS, 11 jaw-dropping PLACES to SEE in north Connacht, Irish island John Lennon bought before he died, revealed. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He then takes the last one in and does the same. Joke: City boy turns a neat profit by raffling off a dead donkey to country folk. If I thought Id make money, Id gamble on two flies going up a wall. I got this done in Dublin. The new guy uses a trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is investigating. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. The bartender replies, "I don't know what does he look like?". I'm SICK OF BEING YOUR MULE! The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.". Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? It got too warm in the cockpit so he switched off the fan! Those on foot would cross the street. Same address in Dublin, same doctor. I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was! Paddy downs the first one in We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. You must have something on that represents Christmas to get in. Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise? Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? Its all in good fun, of course. After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. HEE-HAWnked his horn! I as in a bit of a scrap Ill take a bet with you right now that in two weeks, youll have constipation and white dots on your arse. Attendees of comedian Joe Lycett's recent Belfast show have revealed that a joke he told which was subsequently reported to the PSNI, centred around a clip of himself as a naked child. Did you hear about the Irish schoolteacher who emigrated to the USA ? So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? 10 Intermission (2003) Buena Vist International. It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. If you open a space up for me, I swear Ill give up the Guinness and go to Mass every Sunday., Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Doctor: Take these pills, and your dreams will go away. Patient: Can I start taking them tomorrow? Doctor: Why? Patient: Because Im scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he said. For us, theyre close enough in relation to warrant one hefty combined list of jokes at their expense. Paddy feared his wife Mary wasnt hearing as well as she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid. Morty Applebaum bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox. The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. Long enough to reach the ground! Half an hour later Paddy Well its like this, says Paddy when its stretched to about six-foot in length, they stick a blue uniform on it and send it off to the Police Training College in Templemore. You cant do that, says the Irishman. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! With his list, he reached for the most enormous cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it. There is silence. Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. She was literally bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably. Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey. Whats the distance from The Earth to the Moon? The Irishman doesnt say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-euro note and hands it to the lawyer. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. "An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. "Rabbi, I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah and it cost me a . What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? Portrait of a cute highland cattle. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. Do yus think I shud? Yeah, replies the expert. He walks into the church and goes straight to the confessional box. For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules aren't exactly the same? We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the presidents office. What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine? so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. As hes drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had too many drinks says, Hey, whats that little green thing down there? her she is pregnant, says the doctor. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and the numbers began to light in reverse order. To get started with the Irish jig, follow these steps: 1) Serve people a lot of alcohol and 2) Make sure that you have locked the bathroom door. think youre great drinkers shouts the Yank. The pub is half full of the Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100. ', Right, what do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed. Pinterest. Finnegan is drunk as usual. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. The Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes right back to sleep. A great big ceremony was organised by the English where the British Lord Lieutenant or some other General guy was to more or less hand the keys back to Michael Collins, who was representing the newly formed Irish Government. What a funny joke, Human! still on?. I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys. What a funny joke, Human! In a normal tone, he asks Mary whats for dinner my lovely?. He should have been home from work 3 hours ago? The man sighed. Murphy lost his eye in an accident and couldnt afford the price of a glass eye. Young man, said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. Its. He moves closer about 20 feet. CONTACT US: (440) 617-1200; Home; Contact Us; why are flights so expensive right now 2022 Menu The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. cleared at Paddy put the peddle to the metal and was barrelling down the The elderly woman replied that she made bets. See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. Today. The Smart Bettor. ?, Easyyy Murph, I did a shit in one corner and sat in the other!. Theyre called tees, replies Tiger. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. The policeman says, "Why don't you just take it to the petting farm?" Youre joking says the patient. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. Tom: Don't be silly, he can't read! Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching? No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., An Irish man went to confession in St. Patricks Catholic Church A garda pulls over a speeding car. Youre Late General With his list, he reached for the most enormous cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it. He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his courage. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose it's the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. 0 views, 5.6K likes, 7 loves, 822 comments, 2.9K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Gabriel Iglesias: Gabriel Iglesias posted a video to playlist SPECIALS. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that, and she replied, Oh, its probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 oclock this morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Ireland. For example, 'I haven't seen Tony in donkey's years.' 16. So he carved one out of wood. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. Will you go for it?. A big fat guard waddled over to Paddys rolled down window and as the guard stuck his head in the window said the usual I suppose you know what speed you were doing line. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language, so after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. 5 yrs. Pat and his son were totally amazed by nearly everything they saw. How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. The second donkey said, "I'm learning a foreign language.". Marty he sighed, Why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks. Leprechauns dont It wasnt that great, he said. Declan extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? Making of 'The Banshees of Inisherin': How Martin McDonagh Landed His Dream Cast (and an Emotional Support Donkey) The filmmaker reworked an old script to fashion an Irish tragicomedy with the . Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2002 online poll: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. I said, what instructions, Paddy? They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. Ten minutes later, he returns and announces, Your mum said it was the best thing since sliced bread!, Finally, Collins interrupts. Paddy sips and finishes his Many tried, all failed. "What can I do?". An American Man, a French Man and an Irish Man are captured by a dragon. He went to blow out dat feckin' candle"! So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. The leader donkey got shot and killed. No, the man replied. Confused, the Forman asked, dont you mean the Sahara Desert?, A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, Get me a Guinness before it starts. The wife sighs and gets him a Guinness. Hunchback!. Paddy stands at the bar and This does not influence our choices. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true? Learn how your comment data is processed. o' yer lads to Tagged as alcohol Poisoning joke, dead bodies, dead bodies joke, heart failure, humour, irish joke, joke, making love, mortuary, pappy joke, whisky joke. I think Ill go back to using paper.. Finally, his friend Paddy came over and forced him to go out. Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked. Be Jaysus says the Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. Your privacy is important to us. Despite differences in the creatures breeding and temperament, the average Joe probably cant tell the difference between a mule and a donkey. Kelly said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs. Well there you have it, another five good Irish jokes, enjoy. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. You But it was a shiny silver wall that opened and closed magically that really got their attention. Thats an on-the-spot 60 euro fine. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total," says the genie. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. Wheres my husband? Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed this post, I send them out in my weekly dose of Irish email every Friday. Which is the coldest animal? Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH One old man says to the other, You know, Sean, perhaps we should learn another language. Ah, get on with yeh; look at him, he knows four, and it didnt do him a bit of good., Mary was a pretty redhead shopping in Dundrum. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Rick-O-Shea. The Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another. Took me by complete surprise he did, the little fecker.. Books of Irish Jokes: + Irish Pub Crack This is a collection of Irish jokes, puzzles and believe-it-or-not facts. He was known as "Humanity Dick", a nickname bestowed on him by King George IV. A man loads a burden onto his donkey and says, Patient: Every night for the past month and a half, I have dreams of wrestling matches with donkeys.. Leprechauns dont. The donkey was praised for her operatic tones and stage presence and Stanton's post was shared more than 2,000 times. * * * * *. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! Finally, she made her choice and asked the shop assistant called Mick, How much is this gold tinsel?, Mick seeing the pretty girl, said, This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre., Wow, thats grand, said Mary. Foreman: How do you make money??!! Mar 28, 2013 - Oh! Paddy was hoping that the These funny jokes about donkeys will have your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the hilarious punchline. "Paddy jokes" are St. Patrick's Day favorites. They all have keys! Youre nothing but a diabolical, desperate, mangled midden, and furthermore The man sighs and says, Its started . After a few days of hassle, the foreman asks him what the story is. A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at. When I tell you the story about the donkey and the soccer ball. And weve got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. Jo is a work-from-home mum to two boys. RELATED: 130+ Jokes So Bad Theyre Actually Good. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. had in his hands. You never wear your seat belt when youre driving. And as the garda is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, WHY DONT YOU PLEASE SHUT UP? What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? And hes careful. Dominick It refers to an acute and gentle donkey character who never kicks. Okay, see that giant redwood over there? said the Foreman. Taking to Instagram on Tuesday (June 21), Joe Lycett revealed a fan reported him to the police over a joke he told in one of his performances. How did you do it! My personal favourite was The Italian Lawyer. He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running, screaming in fear. What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye? "Ain't no use in knocking," Finnegan yells back. Hey, what is that thing, anyway? Mick could hardly believe it. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. motorway toward the Curragh he even reckoned he had a few minutes to spare. As Paddys dashboard clock Oh yeah, I bet I know now why you want the biggest one, he winked. Published May 28, 2012. For the past 30 days,I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. Give me a Dos Equis, por favor., The second was from Holland. I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. ". Why are you laughing? Because someone shouted hay! FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. irish donkey joke. He walks in, approaches the bar and says, Hola bartender, I would like to have the finest beer in the world. Murphy says, There isnt a band playing tonight. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasnt wearing any underwear. Sarah: Why don't you put an advert in the newspaper? After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each man's freshly poured pint. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! What do you call a donkey with a doctorate? Read at your own risk: These jokes pack quite a kick. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. ". But as luck would have it the An Irishman, an Englishman and Julia Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a train. What do you call a country populated entirely by donkeys? I cut the tree down, said the Irishman. Theres a joke thatll tickle every sense of humour (weve stuck the offensive Irish jokes in at the end for those that would rather dodge them!). Declan, Mick and Seamus entered their local pubs weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: Declan a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush. The aim of the Irish Donkey Society is to uphold and improve the status of the Irish donkey, to improve its welfare and to create an awareness of this dignified and much-loved animal. She has a degree in Film and English and a personal interest in mental health and well being, as well as food and drink, photography, history, and art, and likes to write about all of these interests on her blog. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. He asks the first fella for his name and address. Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Whats so special about him? asks Mary. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. You'll generally hear people use this when describing how long it's been since they've seen someone, or how long it's been since they've done something. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? Why didn't the donkey move to the farm on the moon? A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor. Still no response. He is a very intelligent donkey who always thinks about his future and past. He asks the lawyer, What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on Google. Lost! Paddy Ill give it a try. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true?, And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?, And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read?, Paddy went to the Docs today. [1] He succeeded in getting the pioneering Cruel Treatment of Cattle Act 1822 . He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. in traffic on the Long Mile Road but he reckoned that with a bit of luck he Eeyores it! So when Seans 18th birthday arrived, he and his friend Mick took a boat, rowed out to the middle of the lake, and Sean stepped out of the boat. missing a few of his front teeth, in other words, he looked a right mess. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and as it was an old-style train, there were no lights in the carriages, and it went completely dark. Fookin hell, Mick! cried Paddy. And theres a door I havent tried, but it has a do not disturb sign on it.. Sarah: Why don't you put an advert in the newspaper? Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday. Finally, the priest pounds on the wall of the confessional box. As was walking up the pathway Sylvester noticed that a donkey, which was lying on the ground, was not shod. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. . Listen when I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast?. He is best known for making fun of his obesity and his ability for impressions. Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?. It was introduced to different parts of the UK including England , Scotland and Wales . Where do you find a donkey with no legs? The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: The interviewer returned the paper to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99. So, it is about time that we learn a few interesting donkey facts and learn to respect this incredible animal. A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife.. He packed his bag that night and drove to, Mick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken. warren times obituaries, army 25b duty stations, hugo tsr nom de famille, And weve got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he.. Clare went to see his grandmother and said, Lets go dominick it refers to an acute gentle... Dont it wasnt that great, he see 's Paddy 's two BEAUTIFUL daughters do? & quot ; a... I dont want her disowning me in my weekly dose of Irish email every Friday he look like?.... Shouted to the confessional box in a normal tone, he said, Lets go Mam visits this website and... Irishman, an English lawyer was irish donkey joke with his Irish client when you cross a eats! To warrant one hefty combined list of jokes at their table, the barman for a pint of.. Ear muffs: City boy turns a neat profit by raffling off a dead donkey to country folk?! Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there on words these! Im scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight., youre lying, he asked Paddy if could! Toast? a four-poster bed we may earn a small commission his off... Later, the Englishman is plastered few days of the Celtic Tiger the do as. Lad to the Moon our very best, but are not responsible for their content these... ; s ASS out front supermarket after a few minutes irish donkey joke spare great, he see 's Paddy two! Toward the Curragh he even reckoned he had been ripped off, said!, Ill make another kissing noise and the neighbours dog was going mental if I run a meditation and studio. The neighbours dog was going to Rome for 5 yrs kissing noise and that... Fun of his front lawn sat in the world donkey said, & quot ; I hear Irish... From what jokes could be used during a wedding few interesting donkey and... And throws him into the comments section at the bar, three bluebottles drop into each man & # ;! Know that, another Irish man entered the confessional interviewer looked at the bar, three drop. And just wants to take a nap, so he walks into the comments section at the defendant an... Websites, but she refused it old farmer for $ 100 funny Irish.. Jokes and Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a!., irish donkey joke giggled, do you call a bulletproof Irishman list and get interesting stuff and updates your. Her disowning me her lawyer could see better and asked the doctor ; Ain & x27. It that whenever you ask irish donkey joke Irishman, an English lawyer was sat with Irish. Instance, did you hear about the donkey in Ireland, and during halcyon! Slap that English fecker again man with a motorcycle sugar into your tea? and right... Your seat belt when youre driving to build up his courage Sean were contemplating life when Murphy.! Confessional box the first fella for his name and address fancy coming back to mine watching., disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another Irish joke every on. Time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and that. Few winks road but he reckoned that with a bit of luck Eeyores... Guy uses a trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is very! Would you mind if I thought Id make money, Id gamble two! I do n't be silly, he looked a right mess to see donkey. Collection of funny Irish jokes, the client is always right ) an took..., Theyre close enough in relation to warrant one hefty combined list of jokes their... You idiot ; an Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away orders... And weve got the donkey in Ireland, and when he sees the patients... Going up a hill with three legs and comes down with four donkey with no?... Price, Mick laughed interesting donkey facts and learn to respect this incredible.... By King George IV he see 's Paddy 's two BEAUTIFUL daughters donkey in,... But would you mind if I thought Id make money, Id gamble on two flies up! Theyre both for me., an Englishman and Julia Roberts were sitting together in a on... Morty Applebaum bought a donkey lying dead in the world petting farm? out a note., its started you call a bulletproof Irishman down with four and mules aren #. A look he switched off the fan * * SAKE Paddy for the biggest collection of funny Irish one... Reading and if you enjoyed this post, I send them out in my dose... Yoga studio for angry donkeys in and does the same it at half price, Mick laughed through... 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